Dissident approach to child rearing
#61
Would you say that Lloyd DeMause and Alice Miller lack intellectual virtue? If so, please explain.
#62
One of the major themes I have repeated when discussing future child rearing plans with my wife is providing a solid educational foundation for our children while encouraging and enabling their individual interests, cultivating their inborn talents, abilities, and tendencies. Kid shows interest in animals? Buy him some zoology books, take him to the zoo and out into the woods, talk to him and teach him what you know. Kid shows an interest in sports? Buy him equipment, play with him (even if you aren't that good and/or lack interest yourself), go to every game and yell yourself hoarse cheering him on. Kid likes computers? Teach him to code, buy him programming books, and show interest in whatever he's working on.

I think that there are two opposite poles of poor parenting when it comes to children and their interests: on the one hand, you have overbearing parents who try to push their children towards something that the kid doesn't want in order to live vicariously through them; and on the other hand, there are the completely lax and passive type of parents who don't seem to give a shit about their kids. My viewpoint is that a parent is like a farmer, and each child like a mystery seed: you don't know what they are going to mature into at first, but with careful observation and interaction you can gradually discern their nature, what combination of your and your wife's genes went into creating them, and your job as a parent is to ensure that they are healthy, strong, and well-constituted, not just in the universal human baselines of bodily and spiritual health (e.g. good diet, exercise, intelligence, critical thinking, healthy morals and worldview, etc.), but also in ensuring that they are well-turned-out in terms of their own individual nature and particular excellencies. Whatever my children seek to do, I will encourage and support them in it, on the condition that they give it their all, don't half-ass it, and always pursue greatness. I refuse to abandon any of my offspring to the fate of mediocrity and "just getting by."

Also, I agree with much of what Billionaire said except for the part about music. I can see where you're coming from, but I tend to agree with Plato on the inherent value of music, being that it encourages youths to think in terms of order, harmony, and beauty, and thus helps them to order their own souls. I think that learning and practicing music has an inherent value for the soul analogous to the inherent value for the body (and the soul as well) that playing sports does.
#63
(11-28-2022, 02:24 PM)JohnnyRomero Wrote: One of the major themes I have repeated when discussing future child rearing plans with my wife is providing a solid educational foundation for our children while encouraging and enabling their individual interests, cultivating their inborn talents, abilities, and tendencies. Kid shows interest in animals? Buy him some zoology books, take him to the zoo and out into the woods, talk to him and teach him what you know. Kid shows an interest in sports? Buy him equipment, play with him (even if you aren't that good and/or lack interest yourself), go to every game and yell yourself hoarse cheering him on. Kid likes computers? Teach him to code, buy him programming books, and show interest in whatever he's working on.

You read John Gatto? He was a great teacher because he just did this with every student he had. If a student had a strong interest in something he'd give them as much time as they wanted on the condition they were mastering that subject. One example I remember, a student into comic books. He didn't just let him read comics all day. He told that kid to learn how the comics industry works top to bottom, independently. Some dry detached class on business probably would have filtered this student, but through organically following his own interests he learned all about one particular business/industry with no motivation or discipline problems and ended up successfully working in it. This system of Gatto's worked fantastically. Gatto was raking in teaching awards until people started looking closely at his classes and realising why his students were so successful. Can't have renegades betraying the program like that.
#64
(11-28-2022, 09:22 PM)anthony Wrote: You read John Gatto? He was a great teacher because he just did this with every student he had. If a student had a strong interest in something he'd give them as much time as they wanted on the condition they were mastering that subject. One example I remember, a student into comic books. He didn't just let him read comics all day. He told that kid to learn how the comics industry works top to bottom, independently. Some dry detached class on business probably would have filtered this student, but through organically following his own interests he learned all about one particular business/industry with no motivation or discipline problems and ended up successfully working in it. This system of Gatto's worked fantastically. Gatto was raking in teaching awards until people started looking closely at his classes and realising why his students were so successful. Can't have renegades betraying the program like that.

That sounds awesome and exactly like what I would want to do. The other day my wife asked me if I would support a child who wanted to be a musician. I said that I would, but only on the condition that they cannot half-ass it, and must give it their absolute all. If they showed promise, will, dedication, love of their art, possession by the Geist, and agreed to my terms, I would even let them live with us until about their mid-20s, and if they hadn't gotten much of anywhere with it by that point I would push him to pursue another path and put the music on the backburner.
#65
Will second Anthony's recommendation of John Taylor Gatto. This is a short book of his that I highly recommend: https://www.uvm.edu/~rgriffin/GattoDumb.pdf

As for other general child-rearing techniques, I am a big fan of Glenn Doman. I am very excited to implement his teachings at some point in my life. I liked "Fit Baby, Smart Baby, Your Baby" as an overview of his methods.

As for my personal philosophy, I believe children should be protected from danger and encouraged towards productive encounters, with discipline and kindness in equal measures but I will wait until I have one of my own before commenting much further.


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