[august]

"an anti-lottery where there's certain things you can't avoid no matter how much you try to re-roll."

[Jeremy]

11/13

I was stuck having to drive Ethan to work since his car is still in the shop, and Miguel was nice enough to say we could share a van until it's fixed so one of us doesn't have to potentially wait around for hours. I was sort of hoping Friday was an exception since the weekend was right around the corner and he would be more motivated today, but I lost any hope I had when he made us leave five minutes late and then got bitchy when I said I wasn't going to stop at McDonalds for breakfast. It's five minutes out of the way and was likely super busy. I said I would stop at a gas station and that my preferred Circle K almost always has hot breakfast sandwiches but he just said something about how it's not a big deal and to just drive to the shop. 

He was lucky I put my foot down because a minute or two after we got there Pooja called everyone into the front office for a "meeting" where she spent almost fifteen minutes lecturing us about how we "give company property disrespect" and that our "vehicles are a privilege with the accompanying responsibility." Everyone was clearly pissed because the entire speech was the fault of someone who wasn't there, but nobody wanted to stick their neck out. Dylan even told her some bs about how he knew he could do better and that he wasn't the only one, which gave Pooja the opportunity to drone on about teamwork and goals for another five minutes before finally ending with the threat that the next person to do something like Angel did would "not be having a conversation like this but in private with the owners." This would've made sense if Angel had been suspended or demoted without being fired, but it was pretty clear he was gone for good and would've been fired regardless. To make things worse when I walked in I noticed some fairly valuable Wingstop coupons on her desk they give out as a sort of promotional thing and forgot to grab one. Surprisingly Ethan forgot to grab one too. 

We had one fairly long job touching up drywall in one of the new subdivisions we'd been to before, which was easy in theory but difficult in practice because they didn't tell us where the dents/marks were and we had to find them ourselves. I'm sure we missed something and wouldn't be surprised if it results in another bitchfest from Pooja if/when the builder complains. On top of that Ethan had to mention how hungry he was or how good various fast food items would be every ten minutes or so, and I'm the type to save lunch for later in the day so you have the wind at your back and the last few hours go by faster. Eventually he said something about how Popeyes had a deal on their tenders meal that made me figure fuck it and offer him the keys, but he didn't want to drive the truck without permission, which shut him up until about 1:30 when we finally took our break. Something about how he mentioned the fact he was "starving" made the food taste better three or four times really irked me. The one silver lining about today was that there's something to be said for being inside of basically finished homes nobody's lived in before. The best comparison I can make is the feeling of a new survival map in Minecraft before you build your first proper house and really make the map "yours."

Mackenzie had a friend drop her off before we even got back to our apartment so I just hid in my room aside from when I heated up a couple hot pockets for dinner, which were whatever. The tinder mid did finally reply, but out of frustration I asked if she was on snapchat too early and got unmatched. On the one hand I don't really care because she didn't feel like anything special, but at the same time I think messaging her gave her the false impression I think she's special, and once you're unmatched there's no way to clarify things.

11/14

I'd told Ethan yesterday if we left a few minutes early we could swing by McDonalds, which we did, but ten minutes down the road he realized he'd forgotten his phone and we had to turn back, making us even later than yesterday and more than forty minutes late if we'd gone to McDonalds, which I didn't want to risk with Pooja being on high alert. He didn't bitch this time, but about halfway there my vape pod ran out and I realized I'd left the next one in my room. I was in a real catch 22 because I knew Ethan would get super pissed if I stopped to get some more, even though it would take way less time than going out of the way to McDonalds, and I would be driving him around so if I stopped for pods in the van he would still start pestering me about stopping at McDonalds. In the end I just stopped at a Sheetz and told him if he's that hungry they got to have something he'll like, which was a mistake because he ordered a burrito that took them fifteen minutes to make and chewed most of it with his mouth open. A big glob of sour cream fell onto his seat, too, and while he did try to wipe it off it still left a stain. 

The work day proper was shit. As soon as I got in, Dylan got in my face and asked if I'd seen where the Wingstop coupons went. I told him I didn't, which was true, and he backed off. Apparently they all went missing and it's happened before. Later on he made a big stink about it in the groupchat and Darius accused Treshawn, who accused one of the army generals named Jose. It was nice to have a funny distraction from doing most of the work while Ethan whined and scrolled tik tok, though. I've never really thought of myself as a wings guy, but I have to admit it was annoying to know someone just had to hoard fifty plus dollars worth of coupons for himself (or herself, Pooja isn't above suspicion). 

Fortunately Ethan was able to pick up his car on the drive home, so I won't have to deal with him on the way to work anymore. He tried to rope me in to watching some Italian film about an affair but I was Ethaned out so I just drank a few beers in my room while replaying Half Life, which was about as good as I remembered it despite my fears.

[Jeremy]

11/15

It was really nice to drive to work without Ethan for the first time since last week. I wound up leaving pretty early because  a dream woke me up before my alarm and decided to swing by McDonalds for a McGriddle and a hash brown. They were both pretty good, but it also made me wonder why fast food restaurants don't offer energy drinks on tap more often. I could be wrong but I'd suspect they could steal lots of morning business from convenience stores if they did. 

It wasn't as nice to be stuck riding with Darius, who's basically a dumber version of Treshawn. To make things worse he constantly complains about how everyone else, especially Treshawn, is "soft." I'm used to coworkers bitching about each other so I did my standard routine of nodding along and occasionally saying stuff like "yeah" or "shit sucks," but he went on and on and on. Whenever I thought he was done someone would post something in the gc and he would go off about how they're bitches or whatever except the one time Dylan posted a pic of a sub-mid latina in the Chick fil a drive thru, which started him off on a long rant about how his ex dumped him after she got promoted to manager at Wendy's and how materialistic women are now. He had a weird complex with the guy who founded Wendy's, Dave something. He'd say stuff like "Dave didn't buy her those shoes" and "Dave didn't buy her no Iphone" and "At least Dave ain't a nigga, huh." I didn't even realize that's who he was talking to until I said Wendy's didn't really sound too bad and he said something about Dave wasn't getting any of his money. Instead he wanted to go to WingStop to see if he could catch someone using the coupons, which I thought was pretty childish. On top of that he didn't try to hide the van and just parked in a corner of the strip mall parking lot. I asked "Don't you think they'll see the van," but he just said he "had to park" and left it at that. I wouldn't say my wings or fries were bad but they weren't crispy enough to be good, either, and the fact that nobody from LLS showed up didn't make them taste any better. 

As we were leaving I heard someone honk and saw an LLS van driving away, although I couldn't tell who it was. I tried to warn Darius, but he didn't believe me until Patrick dm'd me a picture he took of our van with WingStop in the background and a bunch of laughing/crying emojis. He refused to believe I was innocent until I sent him a picture of my receipt, which really annoyed me. I told him he should know I'm not like that, but he said "they're just coupons" and that I should relax, which has me wondering if he and/or Dylan, who he was riding with, are the culprit. 

I was on track to drink too much until I passed out a little before 10, but I'd already had dinner and it's a weeknight so I couldn't take advantage of the fact I woke up for a bit around 3 am. 

11/16

I've been going through a Rockstar phase, but I decided to mix it up with a Monster Java on the way to work. The drink itself hit the spot, but maybe three sips in I had to stop suddenly and a bit spilled on my shirt and left a stain. The lottery always seems to balance things out like that, it makes good things a little worse and bad things a little better, which gets on my nerves. 

Me and Darius got done with our second junk job a little after 12, and neither of us had breakfast so we were both really hungry. Despite this Darius insisted we go to WingStop again, which was thirty minutes across town, to keep an eye out for the thief. I got over my initial disappointment at going to a subpar franchise for the second day in a row when he parked two blocks away and I said I told you so in so many words, but he brushed this off by claiming he parked out front yesterday so whoever stole the coupons had a chance to come clean. It didn't make a difference because nobody from our company came. 

When I got home Ethan was sitting on the couch with a bag of ice on his left ankle and bad cuts on his hand/arm. Apparently he was carrying some unused fragments of tile to the dumpster at a junk job. His ankle landed the wrong way in a little dip in the yard, which made him drop the tile which shattered and cut his arm. He wasn't in a bad mood about it because he was sure he could get "at least a week of worker's comp" out of it. I felt really bad for him so I didn't tell him that wasn't going to happen.

[Jeremy]

11/17

I was back with Mark for a change, which was nice since he's more pleasant to ride with than all the other leads. He just isn't retarded in a way the others are. The best example is that sometimes he doesn't play music and leaves the radio off, even if we aren't talking, which nobody else seems capable of. I didn't even think about it until today when we were driving to a new subdivision and I noticed it wasn't on and almost tried to remind him he forgot to turn it on, but then I thought what if it was on purpose and figured it probably was. The one annoying thing about him is that his attitude has been getting bitchier and bitchier since I joined, I'm pretty sure because working here has him depressed. When I started he'd occasionally complain about the Rams being greedy or Miguel letting things slide, but now he rants at every opportunity about how Pooja is stuck up or the Dylan is retarded or whatever. He's usually right but it still gets annoying after a while. 

For once I had the energy to stay up on a Friday night and get decently wasted, which was nice. I even managed to stay up past when Ethan and Mackenzie went to bed, which felt like a nice lottery win since I gambled on waiting to make dinner. Sometimes it works out, but too often they pass out on the couch and trying to cook anything wakes them up. To make things even better I got a tinder match who isn't obese or obviously a bot, although she didn't reply to my message before I finally fell asleep. 

11/18

I fell asleep on the couch, which meant I was woken up by Mackenzie microwaving sausage biscuits for her and Ethan at like 6 am. To be fair she said she was sorry and didn't mean to wake me up, and it also gave me a chance to get in bed and fall back asleep so I didn't really mind. 

When I woke up a little after noon I was pleasantly surprised to find the tinder match had messaged me back. I'd been pretty drunk and just hit her with a what's up, but for once it actually worked and she asked about something in my bio and we were able to had a little conversation. The one downside was that it was hard to really sink into anything because I was preoccupied with waiting for her to reply. There were a couple points where I thought it might be worth it to ask for her number, but in the end I decided to play it cool and see if she maintains interest.

[Jeremy]

Shit sorry guys I was going to make an entry Saturday night but decided to just go to bed instead, I didn't realize I'd posted anything.

[Jeremy]

Sorry this one's pretty shallow, just trying to get caught up

11/19

I don't remember anything other than that the tinder girl I'd been messaging unfriended me and like two seconds after I noticed I got a different match, which I took as a good sign, although the brief conversation didn't seem to be going anywhere. 

11/20

I was with Treshawn, which wasn't great but was definitely an improvement over Darius. As I said before, Treshawn is just normal dumb while Darius is almost retarded. I don't remember anything about the jobs we went to, but I distinctly remember noticing Ethan and Mackenzie were eating WingStop went I got home. I gave him a dirty look but he just looked confused, so I let it go, but he texted me and said it wasn't what it looked like. He even sent me a screenshot of the receipt which didn't seem to have any coupon applied, although it was disgustingly large for two people. To be fair he even said I could have some if I wanted to, but I'd had a big lunch and wasn't really in the mood for wings. 

11/21

It was nice to wake up and see the new tinder match had responded to a stupid message I'd sent while I was drunk with a real response. 

The only other interesting I remember was Chris calling me into his office after I clocked in and telling me a bunch of bs about how impressed he was with me (I know it's bs because they don't pay attention to the grunts, that's all Miguel) and said I should expect a "little surprise" in my next paycheck. I asked him what it was but he told me the "surprise should not be ruined" so I just said thanks and left. 

11/22

It kind of sucks that I live near my family because if I didn't I would've had an excuse to take today off, but whatever. Fortunately it was an easy day from what I remember so I got off early, and since Ethan and Mackenzie were travelling to one of their parents' homes for Thanksgiving I had the apartment all to myself, which was nice. I took a delta 8 gummy and got really drunk. This almost bit me in the ass big time because the tinder girl messaged me herself, which is always a good sign, but fortunately I wasn't too plastered so I was able to do well enough to schedule a coffee date. In retrospect it might've been smarter to ask for her number first, but it's always hard to tell with this kind of thing. 

11/23

I try to keep my family out of these as much as possible, so I'll just say I had a good Thanksgiving without too much drama. As a bonus I was able to wake up and remember I had a date scheduled for Saturday, although I did fuck up when I was drunk and schedule it for a few hours earlier than I usually sleep in.

[Jeremy]

11/25/24-12/27/24

I meant to update this at the time but didn't want to jinx it by posting about it, which contributed to why I haven't posted in so long. The coffee date went okay, I had mixed feelings about her but was able to stay chill and made her laugh a bit, which was a good sign. We met on off and on for the next month and I thought things were going well, but she was out of town for Christmas and I could sort of tell the energy had shifted by the tone of her texts. I asked if she wanted to get Cava for lunch, I forget which day of the week but it on but it was two days after Christmas, and she said "Yeah that sounds great." Something about this made me feel off, and the fact she wouldn't reply to confirm a specific time made me feel even worse about it, but I still went just in case and was disappointed as I expected. It was my first time eating there, and while I don't remember what I ordered I remember not being particularly impressed. 

Lisa also broke up with Patrick at some point in this period after he lost a fairly large amount of money on a sports bet and got into a fight with her. Ethan and Mackenzie are still together, for better or for worse. I'm honestly a little surprised they never talk about getting married, it's almost been two years. Nothing's really changed at the shop. Darius was "fired" after he stopped coming in so they replaced him with someone named Bart, and they let me drive the van a bit more, but otherwise everything's about the same. 

1/1/24

I always like to make a point of how nothing seems to change with every passing year, but this one did feel a little different. The only big change that happened last year was switching from GameStop to LLS, but they're both shitty jobs so it doesn't feel significant. I just feel a bit older, I guess, which I haven't felt since I graduated high school. It's a kind of bittersweet feeling where you can smile because it happened or at least feel kind of prepared if it happens again. 

1/22/24

I left five minutes late because I thought I had a Monster Java in the fridge but couldn't find it anywhere. It's possible that I left it at the store where I bought two because they had a BOGO deal, but my money's on Ethan or Mackenzie. I checked Ethan's car when I got to the shop but I didn't see it, although he should be smart enough to know to throw it away before I got there if he did. It wasn't a huge deal because some of the guys got there even later than I did including a quick stop at Sheetz for a Mean Bean. It was also nice to see I would be driving Ethan, which has its downsides but is better than listening to shitty music at full volume all day. 

Our first job was a junk job at a house that had been fucked up really bad by a stove fire. It was an older house in one of those neighborhoods with a poorer old section and a richer new section, although this one also had an even newer in-between section at the front with a bunch of so-so houses crammed together. Ethan did this thing he always does where he complains about something but doesn't do anything about it but work slowly to make his point. This time he was worried asbestos had burned in the fire, which wasn't possible given when it was built. I told him this and he started complaining there could be other chemicals we didn't test for, so I told him to where one of the n95 masks we keep on our trucks, but he took it off after five minutes because he "can't get enough oxygen" with it on. There was also an hour long delay leaving because Miguel wouldn't answer his phone and we needed to know whether a few items should be trashed or not. When he finally answered he told me he "trusts me" and that whatever I decide would be fine, which was good to hear but still pissed me off. 

The delay meant we had lunch earlier than I would've liked instead of knocking our second job out first, but there was a Chipotle nearby I knew from experience had a fairly "hood" staff. This usually isn't great, but with certain restaurants usually means they give you extra toppings and stuff because they don't give a fuck, which was the case today. You know you beat the system when Ethan says they gave him too much sour cream. 

The second job, replacing a vapor barrier, took longer than I expected but went by pretty quickly, which was nice, and in the end we still left a little after 3, which is early for a Monday. Ethan had somewhere to be with Mackenzie so I had the apartment to myself. It was a nice, quiet evening where I had a few beers, rewatched the first couple Terminator movies, and had some of a frozen lasagna. Part of me wanted to peek in Ethan's room to see if the Monster Java can was there, but I would've felt terrible if it wasn't there so I let it go for now.

[Jeremy]

1/23

About halfway to work I realized I'd left my vape at home and it was too late to back and get it, so I just went to a gas station to buy a new one and wound up waiting what felt like an hour for a garbageman to pick out his lottery tickets, which was a funny kind of lottery moment but still put me in a bad mood that only got worse when I realized I was riding with Treshawn. The fact Treshawn was in a bad mood didn't help, either. He went on a fifteen minute long rant about it on the way to Home Depot to get supplies for our first job, but between the loud trap music and his way of talking I couldn't figure out what had made him so upset. I was able to piece together that one of his friends did something involving "that brown," which I think means liquor, his car's stereo, and a "spic motherfucker." He snapped a bit at a cashier who told him to try running the company card again and reminded her "I can read." He seemed to chill out after that.

We wound up getting lunch at the Subway in the Walmart near where my GameStop was, which made me feel somewhat nostalgic. I didn't recognize anyone who worked there, which felt weird, although I did recognize a few of the Walmart employees. On the plus side their standards seem to have gone up a bit. Usually they were pretty careless with the sandwich construction and half the toppings fell out as soon as you unwrapped it, which wasn't the case with my Spicy Italian.  

I went over to Patrick's for a bit after work for some beers but didn't wind up staying long because he tried to get me into betting again. It's more annoying than ever before because it ruined his last relationship and he sucks at it, but mentioning either of these facts is guaranteed to start a fight, and I've told him a million times I don't really care for sports. It also made me worried for the get together he's hosting for the football games on Sunday. The meltdowns when he loses aren't even sad or funny anymore, they just get on my nerves. 

1/24

On the way back to the shop I thought about how, despite riding with Dylan, the day hadn't been too bad. I'd showed up on time, the jobs had been easy, and he hadn't noticed when I turned the stereo down a few notches while he was buying a Monster Rehab in a convenience store. Almost immediately after I thought this I got a text from Ethan with a picture of a ton of water on the floor of his bathroom, and instead of answering my question about what happened he just asked me "Where are the towels?" like we had a dedicated towel closet or something so I told him to just use paper towels, but he said there weren't any left so I told him to use his and mine if he really needs to and asked a second time where the water came from, and he just said "There's a leak" and that maintenance was on the way. While I was driving home he texted me that my door was locked and that he couldn't get to my towels like I could do something about it, which I just ignored. 
 
By the time I got home with the paper towels the water was already on a lot of his bedroom's carpet. The maintenance guy still wasn't there, but Mackenzie was, which immediately raised red flags in my head. I tried to help them out but Ethan insisted they had it under control and thanked me for the paper towels. Later on I realized I forgot to scan the room for a stolen Monster can, which pissed me off a bit. The maintenance guy also took almost four hours to show up, which was good to know for the future. The other upside of all this was that for whatever reason they kept to themselves in Ethan's room and I had the living room to myself, which is always nice. I made a kind of cheesesteak quesadilla with peppers, onions, and even mushrooms that was really good.

[kythustra]

1/23

About halfway to work I realized I'd left my vape at home and it was too late to back and get it, so I just went to a gas station to buy a new one and wound up waiting what felt like an hour for a garbageman to pick out his lottery tickets, which was a funny kind of lottery moment but still put me in a bad mood that only got worse when I realized I was riding with Treshawn. The fact Treshawn was in a bad mood didn't help, either. He went on a fifteen minute long rant about it on the way to Home Depot to get supplies for our first job, but between the loud trap music and his way of talking I couldn't figure out what had made him so upset. I was able to piece together that one of his friends did something involving "that brown," which I think means liquor, his car's stereo, and a "spic motherfucker." He snapped a bit at a cashier who told him to try running the company card again and reminded her "I can read." He seemed to chill out after that.

We wound up getting lunch at the Subway in the Walmart near where my GameStop was, which made me feel somewhat nostalgic. I didn't recognize anyone who worked there, which felt weird, although I did recognize a few of the Walmart employees. On the plus side their standards seem to have gone up a bit. Usually they were pretty careless with the sandwich construction and half the toppings fell out as soon as you unwrapped it, which wasn't the case with my Spicy Italian.  

I went over to Patrick's for a bit after work for some beers but didn't wind up staying long because he tried to get me into betting again. It's more annoying than ever before because it ruined his last relationship and he sucks at it, but mentioning either of these facts is guaranteed to start a fight, and I've told him a million times I don't really care for sports. It also made me worried for the get together he's hosting for the football games on Sunday. The meltdowns when he loses aren't even sad or funny anymore, they just get on my nerves. 

1/24

On the way back to the shop I thought about how, despite riding with Dylan, the day hadn't been too bad. I'd showed up on time, the jobs had been easy, and he hadn't noticed when I turned the stereo down a few notches while he was buying a Monster Rehab in a convenience store. Almost immediately after I thought this I got a text from Ethan with a picture of a ton of water on the floor of his bathroom, and instead of answering my question about what happened he just asked me "Where are the towels?" like we had a dedicated towel closet or something so I told him to just use paper towels, but he said there weren't any left so I told him to use his and mine if he really needs to and asked a second time where the water came from, and he just said "There's a leak" and that maintenance was on the way. While I was driving home he texted me that my door was locked and that he couldn't get to my towels like I could do something about it, which I just ignored. 
 
By the time I got home with the paper towels the water was already on a lot of his bedroom's carpet. The maintenance guy still wasn't there, but Mackenzie was, which immediately raised red flags in my head. I tried to help them out but Ethan insisted they had it under control and thanked me for the paper towels. Later on I realized I forgot to scan the room for a stolen Monster can, which pissed me off a bit. The maintenance guy also took almost four hours to show up, which was good to know for the future. The other upside of all this was that for whatever reason they kept to themselves in Ethan's room and I had the living room to myself, which is always nice. I made a kind of cheesesteak quesadilla with peppers, onions, and even mushrooms that was really good.

I told my girlfriend to pick up red snapper today so I could bake them whole with herbs, garlic, lemon and such, but the market was closed when she got there. Had to whip up quesadillas instead because we had no other ingredients. They're my favorite slop food by far. If you put cheese on outside you can crisp it and it gives a nice flavor.

[skibidi groyper]

Jeremy, I think you should kill a hobo and post pictures here. It would spice up your life

[kythustra]

Jeremy, I think you should kill a hobo and post pictures here. It would spice up your life

I’m almost certain this is illegal in most places. Definitely check with a lawyer first or read the relevant laws.

[Jeremy]

1/25

Me and Ethan left at the same time so I asked him about what caused the flooding, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer. In the end he sort of stuttered that it was "something with the plumbing" and left it at that, but I'm not sure I believe him. I also got stuck waiting an eternity for him to turn out of our parking lot which meant I got stuck at like lights just after they turned red. Eventually I decided to stop for a breakfast sandwich and hopefully get out of whatever traffic cycle I'd got stuck in, which surprisingly worked. I didn't hit anymore red lights for the rest of my commute. 

I got put with Mark to do a fairly big job installing fake hardwood flooring in a remodeled corporate building in the same industrial park as the shop. It always sucks when jobs are nearby because travel time is basically paid breaks, especially when the job itself is putting (imo tasteless) gray plastic with wood patterns in it on a concrete slab like it makes a difference. On top of this Mark decided to be a stickler and refused to drive any further than the gas station Hunt Brother's pizza near the shop because apparently the ten extra minutes to a proper restaurant was "too risky," which is complete bullshit. Dylan and Treshawn sometimes drive a half hour plus round trip for lunch or even just to get money from their bank. When I left this morning I was planning to grab a beer with the guys after work, but by the time I got off late around 5:30 I wasn't in the mood anymore. I will say that my shitty day made me feel like I'd "earned" my beers, which always makes them hit harder 

1/26

I woke up with about thirty minutes to spare but wasn't feeling hungry, so I decided to just take a shower and leave a few minutes early. I usually shower at night so it had a certain novelty appeal. It was a nice start to what turned out to be an easy day doing doing a couple small junk jobs and running some errands with Ethan. The one downside about working with him is his (lack of a) work ethic, which doesn't come into play when there isn't much work to do. Other than that I had a nice lazy night and fired up an old Minecraft map for a bit. 

1/27

I was in a pretty good mood heading into the weekend, so of course I had a fucked up dream about Ethan falling into a coma that left me feeling disoriented and shitty all day. There were a couple fun parts where these gangsters broke into the hospital room and I fought them off, but this wasn't enough to make it worth it in anyway. In the end I started drinking kind of early and just as I was starting to feel good again I passed out on the couch. Ethan woke me up with the microwave sometime around midnight and I kind of snapped at him even though he apologized. I did apologize the next time I saw him but it was hard to feel too guilty because I was half-asleep and not really thinking properly, which he understood.

[Jeremy]

1/23

About halfway to work I realized I'd left my vape at home and it was too late to back and get it, so I just went to a gas station to buy a new one and wound up waiting what felt like an hour for a garbageman to pick out his lottery tickets, which was a funny kind of lottery moment but still put me in a bad mood that only got worse when I realized I was riding with Treshawn. The fact Treshawn was in a bad mood didn't help, either. He went on a fifteen minute long rant about it on the way to Home Depot to get supplies for our first job, but between the loud trap music and his way of talking I couldn't figure out what had made him so upset. I was able to piece together that one of his friends did something involving "that brown," which I think means liquor, his car's stereo, and a "spic motherfucker." He snapped a bit at a cashier who told him to try running the company card again and reminded her "I can read." He seemed to chill out after that.

We wound up getting lunch at the Subway in the Walmart near where my GameStop was, which made me feel somewhat nostalgic. I didn't recognize anyone who worked there, which felt weird, although I did recognize a few of the Walmart employees. On the plus side their standards seem to have gone up a bit. Usually they were pretty careless with the sandwich construction and half the toppings fell out as soon as you unwrapped it, which wasn't the case with my Spicy Italian.  

I went over to Patrick's for a bit after work for some beers but didn't wind up staying long because he tried to get me into betting again. It's more annoying than ever before because it ruined his last relationship and he sucks at it, but mentioning either of these facts is guaranteed to start a fight, and I've told him a million times I don't really care for sports. It also made me worried for the get together he's hosting for the football games on Sunday. The meltdowns when he loses aren't even sad or funny anymore, they just get on my nerves. 

1/24

On the way back to the shop I thought about how, despite riding with Dylan, the day hadn't been too bad. I'd showed up on time, the jobs had been easy, and he hadn't noticed when I turned the stereo down a few notches while he was buying a Monster Rehab in a convenience store. Almost immediately after I thought this I got a text from Ethan with a picture of a ton of water on the floor of his bathroom, and instead of answering my question about what happened he just asked me "Where are the towels?" like we had a dedicated towel closet or something so I told him to just use paper towels, but he said there weren't any left so I told him to use his and mine if he really needs to and asked a second time where the water came from, and he just said "There's a leak" and that maintenance was on the way. While I was driving home he texted me that my door was locked and that he couldn't get to my towels like I could do something about it, which I just ignored. 
 
By the time I got home with the paper towels the water was already on a lot of his bedroom's carpet. The maintenance guy still wasn't there, but Mackenzie was, which immediately raised red flags in my head. I tried to help them out but Ethan insisted they had it under control and thanked me for the paper towels. Later on I realized I forgot to scan the room for a stolen Monster can, which pissed me off a bit. The maintenance guy also took almost four hours to show up, which was good to know for the future. The other upside of all this was that for whatever reason they kept to themselves in Ethan's room and I had the living room to myself, which is always nice. I made a kind of cheesesteak quesadilla with peppers, onions, and even mushrooms that was really good.

I told my girlfriend to pick up red snapper today so I could bake them whole with herbs, garlic, lemon and such, but the market was closed when she got there. Had to whip up quesadillas instead because we had no other ingredients. They're my favorite slop food by far. If you put cheese on outside you can crisp it and it gives a nice flavor.

Good idea, I'll have to try that.

[Jeremy]

Jeremy, I think you should kill a hobo and post pictures here. It would spice up your life

Not such a good idea, lol. Honestly I don't mind hobos as much as some other groups because they don't have enough money to be in stores and stuff where I spend most of my time in public. although maybe if I lived in a big city or something like that where they have more of a presence I'd change my mind. I'm sure alot of them deserve it or whatever but I can't help but feel bad for them, especially when it gets really hot or cold

[Jeremy]

3/25

I woke up before my alarm but felt super refreshed, then got a free breakfast burrito with my Sheetz order by mistake, which was alot of lottery moments in a row and made me worried something really bad was about to happen. This feeling got even stronger when Miguel came up to me right after I clocked in looking super pissed off. He told me there was an "all hands" meeting scheduled for 8:45 and when I asked him what it was about he just gestured like he was jacking off and pointed to the offices. None of the field techs knew either, although there was a strong rumor that they were going to fire Dylan for getting caught drinking at a jobsite, especially since Miguel confirmed he had "called out" earlier that morning with some kind of cold. 

It turned out that the Rams had divided Miguel's role as General Manager into two roles, one of which (General Operations Manager) would be held by Miguel, and the other (General Administrative Manager) would be held by a newly hired guy named Dinesh, who's apparently Chris's brother in law. Miguel was still going to handle the day to day stuff while Dinesh was going to handle big picture stuff along with some stuff that Pooja had been doing. She turned it into an opportunity to pretend like she's been super busy and working really hard, and Nathan made some joke about she won't have to be "the hardest worker of our company" anymore. It was honestly kind of disgusting, and that's not even counting the rest of the meeting where Dinesh gave a retarded speech about "optimization." He started by giving some background info about how he went to LSU and how he's a big hip hop fan, then asked "What Is Optimization?" Mason (a recent hire) said "When you make things better," to which Dinesh said "not quite." Then Treshawn said "How, you make things better" to which he said "warmer." Then he ignored Ethan's raised hand to ask Pooja what she thought. She said "organizational self-improvement" which Dinesh thought was "outstanding." He rambled for eighteen minutes (I timed it) about how optimization happens when the parts take responsibility for the whole and the whole takes responsibility for the parts, or something like that. I don't really remember anything else that happened that day, but the whole thing gave me a sinking feeling like if you were an astronaut who realized there was an alien on his spaceship. 

3/27

This was the second day in a row that I didn't hear or see Dinesh, which had me worried. If he had been present I could get a better read on whether he was going to have any effect on my day to day, but now it started to feel more and more like he'd been hired to play bad cop to Miguel's good cop. 

I went to a young adult Bible study at a nearby Baptist church on the way home from work. They're not super conservative but they're definitely not liberal either, you could call it Ben Shapiro-tier conservative. I started going to the Sunday service about a month ago mainly as an excuse to leave the apartment. I have mixed opinions about it but overall I think it's been good for my mental health. It also has a surprisingly decent ratio of girls:guys and I think if I'm able to stick around long enough to be accepted I might have a shot with someone.

The Bible study's been going through the book of John and tonight we covered the part where Jesus talks to the woman at the well. I'm trying not to be overly critical, but I've noticed the discussions can be kind of repetitive. It feels like the verse:time ratio is wrong and we have more time than there is stuff to discuss about the passages we read. Like tonight everyone basically kept repeating how Jesus forgives everyone over and over again with different wording each time. A few people would went into (imo) too much detail about past sins, like this one guy who talked about how he had been "enslaved by lust" in a previous relationship. The worst part was when a first-timer who was a friend of a regular broke down crying about how she had had an abortion near the very end. Ezra, the youth pastor, instructed everyone to lay hands on her and spent probably five minutes leading her through the sinner's prayer and talking about how we had "just witnessed a transformation." In my defense I didn't put my hands on her, not because I didn't want to be supportive but just because it felt inappropriate.

I guess the other thing that bugs me about the Bible study is that I always feel kind of bad if I have a beer afterwards, like I'm cancelling it out or something. At the same time something about it makes me want to drink more than usual afterwards, it always feels kind of disappointing. I always leave with more questions than I had going in, and I haven't really "met" anyone there. There's one guy, Bryce, who's in some kind of leadership role who always says hi to me and asks me about my week, but it's pretty clear he's just doing it because he has to. There's another guy named Tyler who I've talked with a couple times I remembered as a frequent GameStop customer, but he wasn't there this time. 

3/28

Another day without any trace of Dinesh. It made me wonder if maybe he was just hired as a kind of money laundering thing, but it was still too early to relax. From what I saw in the gc a big chunk of our team had a long day installing appliances in a new apartment complex, but me and Ethan lucked into a couple small touch up jobs in a new subdivision on the other side of the county. I've learned it's better to do most of everything myself instead of risking Ethan fucking it up. In exchange for not having to do anything technical he buys my lunch every other time we're in the same van, which meant I had a free Crunchwrap supreme combo for lunch. The other week he nearly got fired after he spilled a can of paint on a carpet inside an apartment with a lease starting two days later. 

I mostly drank and played Morrowind after I got home and was in a pretty good mood when I went out a little after ten to get one more beer. Ethan and Mackenzie were sprawled on the couch eating Pizza Hut with massive grease stains all over their shirts. Mackenzie, who's been somewhat less of a bitch recently, asked me if I wanted some. I said thanks but that I was okay, and Ethan, who was clearly high, asked if I was sure. After I said I was sure he said "more for me" and reached for another slice. I turned towards the fridge to avoid watching him take a bite, but just as I was grabbing my beer I heard him say "Nobody out pizzas the hut" which completely ruined my night.

[Guest]

> she's black
I just had a heart attack holy fuck bros

[Jeremy]

3/29

I found it really hard to get out of bed and left three minutes late, and as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot the "low fuel" light came on. Previous experience has shown me that I could probably make it to work and then the nearest station on what I had left, but having to stop for gas on the way home, especially on a Friday, always seems to put a curse on the rest of the night, like if you cheated once really early in a playthrough. I also decided to go to a Sheetz on the lefthand side of the road instead of a chain with less breakfast options that was on the right, and in the end showed up for work fourteen minutes late, which normally wouldn't have been a big deal, but I knew I was fucked when I saw Dinesh standing in front of a bunch of folding chairs set up in front of a flatscreen TV in the warehouse. Chris walked over from a table next to the TV with a few boxes of walmart doughnuts in it and handed me one, but said "fifteen minutes...unacceptable" right after I had taken my first bite. Before I could explain that I had been unexpectedly low on gas he told me "We will forgive today" and something about how he appreciated what I bring to the company. I was going to say something really gay like "I try my best" but Dinesh yelled something to him before I had the chance. 

Once everyone had arrived (I relaxed a bit because a half dozen guys showed up after me, including Ethan over thirty minutes late with a McDonald's bag in one hand) Dinesh started his powerpoint presentation on "optimization." The first few slides were all corporate bs about teamwork and workflows, and the next involved him repeating the copypasta about rice on a chessboard. My heart sank when I half-guessed where he was going with it, which was that he's going to be organizing my team into fixed crews of 2 and tracking their performance much more closely, with "prizes" for the best performing crews, starting Monday. What really pissed me off was that he didn't tell us who the teams would be, because it meant I had to spend the whole weekend worrying about which retard I'll have to deal with. The cherry on top was when they made us put back the folding chairs before we left. 

I was with Ethan again and wound up dropping off some furniture at various building sites. It should've been an easy day with alot of downtime between all the different stops, but Ethan is weaker than he should be and made everything take three times as long as it should. He tried to argue with me about where we went for lunch (he wanted to go to Jersey Mike's and I wanted to go to Subway), then got really bent out of shape when I told him I was driving, I was doing all the heavy lifting, and I would choose where we went for lunch. He didn't argue any further, but when we got there he said he "wasn't hungry anymore." I told him fine and went inside, and like I expected he walked in less than a minute after I did. As soon as we'd finished eating he made some comment about how his sub wasn't "memorable" and was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. 

I pulled off the modified Friday night strat again. I woke up around 2 and made a full size bean and cheese quesadilla and watched a speedrunning documentary. 

3/30

I woke up pretty late and kind of hungover, so I went back to bed and didn't really wake up until almost 12. I was still a bit hungover so I decided to go for a walk to try and clear my mind. The weather was nice and you could really feel Spring starting to take over. I had the idea that the Lottery might include "time lotteries" where all of your rolls within a certain time period have some kind of multiplier. Like if in 2017 every good thing that happened was 10% better than usual and all your bad luck was 10% worse. In the end I realized it's not ultimately irrelevant because different time lotteries would just cancel each other out. 

I went over to Patrick's with Ethan to watch some college basketball and have a few beers. Fortunately he didn't place any bets this time, but it didn't matter because neither of them can really handle their liquor. About an hour in Ethan, who I think was trying to flex, asked Patrick "how's the single life treating you," which you could tell got under his skin, so after he took a sip of his beer he said that he felt like "Lisa and Lauren were two opposites, you know" but I was so caught off guard I said I didn't know what he meant, which was true. They were both somewhat overweight mids with dumpy personalities, although I obviously I kept that to myself. But then Ethan added that it made "zero sense" to him, which Patrick replied to by saying sometimes Ethan does things that make zero sense to him. Ethan almost kept his mouth shut, but instead said that he "just meant their personalities didn't seem too different." Patrick said he got what he meant and went back to watching the game. About a minute later he asked if anyone felt like getting a pizza, to which Ethan said "Pizza Hut?" and Patrick said "I'm joking, fatass." I really did try not to laugh but I couldn't help myself, which made Ethan tell him to go fuck himself and leave. I tried texting him that it was all in good fun but he just said "He crossed a line" and wouldn't reply any further. We wound up getting some wings later on, which would've been good if they weren't too cold by the time they reached Patrick's. I don't have anything against Ethan but 1. he started it and 2. he's been kind of annoying recently and it was nice to have a break.

[Hamamelis]

Came back out of retirement because the saga continues...

[Jeremy]

3/31

Usually I kind of like sleeping through my alarm because it means I got extra sleep and have to spend less time overall at work without having to feel bad about it. I guess I could still get in trouble for being late but it wouldn't really be my fault in the same way being late because I went to a drive-through or took a long shower would. This time it meant being over thirty minutes late for the Easter service at my parents' church, although it wasn't as big of a deal as it could've been since it's one of those super causal megachurches. I felt even less guilty about being late when the pastor kept comparing the resurrection to the Matrix and talked about how accepting Jesus into your heart is the redpill. I don't consider myself super religious or anything but it felt disrespectful to me. I could be wrong but I don't think something like that would fly at the church I've been visiting closer to me. Obviously I couldn't say anything to my parents but I just don't get the point of going to church when it's that casual. I understand wanting to reach addicts and stuff like that but in my opinion you have to draw the line somewhere. 

Dinner at my parents' was pretty good and there was enough for leftovers to the point finding Ethan and Mackenzie slumped on the couch wasn't enough to ruin my good mood. Ethan asked if I had a good Easter and I told him I did and felt sort of compelled to ask how his was, but before he could finish a sentence Mackenzie interrupted him to gush about how great her libtard church's Easter service was. I'm pretty sure she was trying to shit test me into saying something unwoke but I just said it sounded cool, grabbed a beer, went straight to my room, and fired up an old melee nord Skyrim save for a bit although like usual it got old in an hour or so. 

4/1

I felt like it was going to be a shit week when I woke up to discover I'd slept through my alarm again (but only by a few minutes) and I'd knocked the glass of water beside my bed over at some point during the night and it somehow shattered all over the carpet. Fortunately I was able to navigate around the bits of glass everywhere and dig some old flip flops out of my closet without cutting my feet but knowing I would have to take care of it when I got home instead of just being able to relax put me in a bad mood. The fact traffic was worse than usual and some retard in a Prius nearly t-boned me didn't help. 

Once I got to work I was able to calm down a bit because Dinesh had put all the crews on a white board in the warehouse and I was with Patrick and assigned to be the "lead." In some ways being the lead is worse because you have to drive and can't goof off on your phone but it's also something Patrick would get overly cocky about so overall I was happy about it. The fact Ethan got stuck with Dylan was also pretty funny. When he showed up maybe ten minutes after me and saw it he walked over to me and started bitching about it so I pretended to feel bad for him. I do sort of feel bad for him but at the same time feel like he deserves it on some level. Dinesh was holed up in his office too, which was a plus. 

Me and Patrick had to finish up with the appliance install job from Friday and clean up some trash at a club that threw some weird party last night but other than that it was an easy day. I haven't worked with him a ton in the past but he's definitely a harder worker than Ethan. Aside from a text complaining about how he catcalled some woman at a gas station I didn't hear anything from him all day and he never came home, I guess because he went to Mackenzie's. As always it was nice to have the apartment to myself. I had a solid smash session where I won most of my matches and followed it up with The Dark Knight and a frozen pizza. 

4/2

I thought the day was off to a good start after I woke up with enough time to get breakfast, vape pods, and gas at Circle K and still show up on time but as soon as me and Patrick had buckled our seats in the van we got an email from Dinesh titled "Performance Metrics Day 1." He included a spreadsheet that ranked everyone on my team in terms of how late they were, how long their van was idling, and how long they spent past thirty minutes on their lunch break along with a multi-paragraph rant about "standards" and how he knows "we can do better as a team". He also said he wouldn't send it out every day and that it was just to "set expectations" but everyone in the groupchat flipped out and said if he keeps it up they're going to quit. I personally found it annoying but know from my experience at GameStop that kind of thing is usually all bark and no bite unless you really fuck up, so I'm not too worried. I could see it ending badly for Ethan and Dylan though. 

Me and Patrick went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch and since it was only three minutes from our jobsite we had time to eat inside. While I was waiting for my Chicken Sandwich meal I noticed Claire was sitting by herself in a Walmart uniform at a booth just next to the play place. Some kids were running around and knocked her lemonade over, but she handled it really well and even told the kids' mom not to bother helping her wiping up, although one of the employees showed up pretty quickly to clean it up himself. Part of me wanted to say hi to her but in the end it wasn't worth the risk so I went to hide in the bathroom but the only stall was occupied, so I wound up standing in front of the urinal for like five minutes. One fat guy showed up halfway through and I thought I would have to leave, but luckily the guy in the stall came out and I was able to wait longer. Claire was still there when I finally got out but she left while I picked up my order and napkins and ketchup and stuff. I was really close to rushing to the parking lot to say something but it was definitely too late by that point. Looking back I'm not sure how to feel about the whole thing. On top of that my fries were already somewhat cool by the time I got to them, although the sandwich was a bit better than average since the chicken patty didn't have a big lump in it like they do half the time. 

When I got home Ethan was drinking Voodoo Ranger, which isn't really an Ethan beer, on the couch and looked kind of depressed. I was hoping maybe something had happened with Mackenzie but instead he complained about how he's sick of listening to Dylan's shitty music at full volume and how he's been ripping him off at lunch. Apparently Ethan told him about our deal and he said he'd only accept it if Ethan bought him lunch every day instead of every other day. Ethan agreed to it since according to him he didn't want to make a big mistake and get fired but yesterday Dylan ordered the most expensive combo at Taco Bell and today he had a huge burrito with two beers at a sit down Mexican restaurant. Ethan tried to use the fact he paid for his second beer as a kind of weird coping mechanism to pretend Dylan wasn't taking advantage of him and I tried to tell him he needs to nut up and call the deal off, but he wouldn't commit to anything. I'm also pretty sure he stole one of my beers while I was in my room because I was definitely one short tonight, but I'm going to let it slide.

[Jeremy]

4/3

I had a dream that I had to visit someone in a hospital attached to a big mall, but I can't remember who. After a while I was told I needed to leave for a few hours due to some kind of policy, so I decided to look for something to eat in the mall, but every restaurant was either closed or really suspicious in a sinister way. There also weren't many people. The mall was out of date and mostly abandoned but very well maintained. Everything was very clean and shiny. Eventually something scared me in the mall so I kept running until I reached some kind of stairwell that took me to the basement level where there was some kind of hellish mine that looked like the Nether and I was worried I would be forced to work there or something, which I think was supposed to represent GameStop, although it could also have been about my current job. Anyways I ran out of their and back to the hospital, where the person I was supposed to visit had been moved downstairs, which was hospital and not the Nether mines, but the hospital staff wouldn't let me down. Eventually a gangster type attacked me and I managed to fight him off and he ran away. I remember running to the person's room after that, but I don't remember what he told me or why he was there.  

As soon as we got to our first job Dylan started texting the groupchat (which Ethan isn't part of) about how much of a loser Ethan is. Treshawn posted like thirty laughing emojis when he told them about the lunch deal and a recent hire named Lamar who's like fifty years old posted a gif of money coming out of a slot machine with a gif I'm sure he found with the autogif option on the messaging app we use. Patrick commented "that's fucked up" but when Dylan started getting defensive about it he clarified that he meant fucked up "like in a funny way." He's not wrong and I can't really blame them for laughing at Ethan and I didn't reply to it myself, but part of me can't help feeling guilty for not telling him about it. I'm just not sure he could handle it. Fortunately he was at Mackenzie's so I could delay the decision and if he found out just tell him I was waiting to tell him in person as an etiquette thing. 

We're only three days in but Patrick is starting to get under my skin. He's good at the actual work portion, but he's not very hygienic and he can be pretty annoying to talk to. He's positive in a really annoying way where he just assumes everything's going to go his way even when he really shouldn't. You can really hear it when he calms down after he loses a big bet and starts talking about how he'll definitely win the next one, which makes it super annoying when he does win. He's also the kind of person where if you tell him about something that happened to you he has to tell you about something even crazier that happened to him. But the absolute worst is this thing he started doing yesterday about "crashing the plane." Basically if you pause even for a second while thinking up a comeback to a joke he made about you he'll say you "crashed the plane" and if you respond after that he'll say "it's too late, you crashed the plane" and if you try to argue with him about this or give a different comeback he'll just keep repeating "crashed the plane." By the time we got back to the shop I missed working with Ethan. 

4/4

I hit snooze one more time than I really had time to and wound up getting out of bed with only a couple minutes to get dressed before I'd be late, and as I was dashing to my bathroom to take a piss I stepped on a shard of glass despite vacuuming my room multiple times and checking it with my phone's flashlight for any pieces I missed after I broke the glass. It got blood all over the carpet and once again I realized I'd have to spend my whole day knowing I had bullshit to do when I got home. On top of that the wound took longer than you'd expect to stop bleeding and it took me almost ten minutes to find the hydrogen peroxide. I spent basically all of my commute imagining the bitchy email from Dinesh or even worse from Pooja, but really I should've been worried about Patrick because he gave me shit for being late. At first I thought he was joking but he brought it up again on the way to our first job and kept making jokes everytime we passed a hospital or an urgent care and eventually I started to tell him I would send him to the hospital if he didn't shut the fuck up, but I rushed and said "the to" instead of "to the" and as I stuttered to correct myself he told me I crashed the plane. I kept telling him to shut up but he just kept telling me I crashed the plane and making plane crashing noises until I started driving over the passenger's side rumble strips. Fortunately it was just as he was taking a sip of his Bang! which meant some of it spilled on his shirt and he finally let it go. I realized a few minutes later I could've said he "spilled the drink" but it was too late and would've come off as desperate imo. 

Our first couple jobs were really easy touch up stuff at some newly built apartments that we breezed through before we had lunch at Wendy's, which was whatever at the time but felt like a big mistake afterwards because we had to install furniture in a new townhome not too far from the apartment complex we've been working at. They just dropped it off in the parking lot a few minutes after we arrived and since it was about to rain we had to waste thirty minutes hauling all the heavy furniture into the townhomes, all while feeling like I had to throw up, and then move most of it a second time to the apartment it belonged in. The instructions didn't include any words, just numbers, and besides a couple toilet paper holders all had way too many similar looking parts to understand correctly. We wound up grinding it out until like 6:30 before Miguel finally gave us permission to head back and clock out. Even worse I knew we'd have to go back again tomorrow. 

Ethan was back but fortunately he was with Mackenzie and it would've been rude to tell him about the groupchat in front of her so I didn't have to worry about it. After a few solid hours of Skyrim (I finally reached Blackreach which is by far the best part of the game and kept me engaged enough) I went out to grab one last beer and ran into Ethan looking kind of sad on the couch by himself, I guess because Mackenzie was taking a shit. He said he really can't stand Dylan and that he's going to have to look for another job soon. Apparently the past two days' he's been going to taco trucks and getting four or five tacos. Today he got a beer too which Ethan said forced him to only get two tacos instead of his usual three because he "wasn't going to spend thirty five dollars at a taco truck" as if thirty wasn't already way too much. I ultimately decided not to tell him about the groupchat because it isn't mine and I don't really have the authority to add new members by myself. I figured it would be better to put it to see what people thought tomorrow and maybe try to defend him a little bit.