Mario Kart - Amarnite Personality Test

[Guest]

I've always been partial to Luigi because I'm a norwood oldtroon coaler. I always sympathized with his number 2 beta status, and was envious of those with the self-confidence to choose more assertive characters. My weak, bugman physiology left me powerless to pick or identify with all but the weakest character. At times I've wished I could at least troon out and become a Peach man/woman, but even this is beyond the capabilities of my frail, neutered psyche. I remember finishing second to the boyfriend of a girl I had been rejected by at a Science Communication Club party who, predictably, had chosen Mario. After losing both the final race and the championship to a blue shell, I said "It's so funny how Mario always gets better luck than anyone else." He told me that's why he chose him and laughed to himself; I began violently slapping my forehead and moaning about how unfair it was, but obviously I was too weak for the forehead slaps to really hurt. Maybe if I wasn't NPC biological detritus I would've fought him or something, but if there's one thing the educational system has taught me, it's that decent people direct their pain inwards.

You seem to be trying to sell the idea that you find this place absurd, but if you aren't genuinely reached and upset by us why would you do this? 

There was no hostile intent, you're taking it too seriously

[anthony]

There was no hostile intent, imagine if a cool nigger saw you caring.

Thank you Guest poster for doing the Guest thing.

[Guest]

There was no hostile intent, imagine if a cool nigger saw you caring.

Thank you Guest poster for doing the Guest thing.

Do you think you normally sound that absurd?

[anthony]

There was no hostile intent, imagine if a cool nigger saw you caring.

Thank you Guest poster for doing the Guest thing.

Do you think you normally sound that absurd?

Bros... fuck... I'm intellectually cornered. A checkmate. The trap got me...

More seriously, no. I don't. I think what's absurd is how ragged your attempt at being funny is, who it is that you find upsetting and in need of active correction in the world, and how you're persistently replying while trying to maintain an affectation of ultra-relaxed casual detachment. You're in this thread because you're upset. You already lost from the moment you made your first post. This social science thread is now about studying you.

[PIGSAW]

Whichever feels the least like a human. If there was an option to play as a toaster, I would have picked that. Failing such, the monster is acceptable.

[Spingebill]

Wario because he's the most Sensitive Young Man-like

[calico]

Interesting how IRL I know of no Wario mains, or other Yoshibros.

Autism?

[Guest]

I've always been partial to Luigi because I'm a norwood oldtroon coaler. I always sympathized with his number 2 beta status, and was envious of those with the self-confidence to choose more assertive characters. My weak, bugman physiology left me powerless to pick or identify with all but the weakest character. At times I've wished I could at least troon out and become a Peach man/woman, but even this is beyond the capabilities of my frail, neutered psyche. I remember finishing second to the boyfriend of a girl I had been rejected by at a Science Communication Club party who, predictably, had chosen Mario. After losing both the final race and the championship to a blue shell, I said "It's so funny how Mario always gets better luck than anyone else." He told me that's why he chose him and laughed to himself; I began violently slapping my forehead and moaning about how unfair it was, but obviously I was too weak for the forehead slaps to really hurt. Maybe if I wasn't NPC biological detritus I would've fought him or something, but if there's one thing the educational system has taught me, it's that decent people direct their pain inwards.

lmao, truly the best post I have read in days! Based anti-amarnite satire!

[Guest]

*takes deep breath in* “ahh yes, finally some refreshing anti-amarnite satire, just what I needed. I am so exhausted by the amarnite dogma that is espoused by all the: schools, institutions, politicians, scientist, celebrities, and anyone else with a mouth. This is why I come to the anti-Amarna_forum for a reprieve from the ubiquitous amarnite dogma that goes unchallenged in this world.”

[Guest]

where the hell is waluigi and funky kong

[PIGSAW]

Waluigi is a good pick, because he isn't from any game (Mario Tennis is about as nothing of an entrance any character was gonna get). Preferrable to Wario for this reason (and ditching the grossout element).

[Guest]

Whichever feels the least like a human. If there was an option to play as a toaster, I would have picked that. Failing such, the monster is acceptable.

QFT

[Adamant]

In line with the least human option, if there was dry bones as an option I would've chosen that instead of Bowser

[calico]

You aren't choosing from pervert Luigi or "Dry Bones" (possible homosexual innuendo?). You're picking from the classic Mario Kart 64 characters.

This is for science, please try to take it seriously.

[Peaseblossom]

Kirukuni's heuristic would have led me to pick Bowser as a child. Now, I would probably go for Mario as a self-conscious Sigma affectation.

[Lohengrin]

Almost a month later and no Peachfag has outed himself.

[calico]

I'm surprised that for an anime-rapist themed forum not one of you "picks female characters to look at their ass."

I know you guys have your parents' schedule your doctor's appointments for you, but is zoomer anxiety so bad they're intimidated by female-shaped video game characters?

[Bransle]

"Mario. Mario is the protagonist."

[Recent Friend]

I'm surprised that for an anime-rapist themed forum not one of you "picks female characters to look at their ass."

I know you guys have your parents' schedule your doctor's appointments for you, but is zoomer anxiety so bad they're intimidated by female-shaped video game characters?

Her ass is hidden by a go-kart. Or perhaps some people are shoulder/nape men.

[JohnTrent]

Oh, forgot to vote in this thread. I usually alternated between Donkey Kong and Bowser. I used Bowser slightly more as a child, but my vote has already been cast as Donkey Kong — make of it what you will, I guess.